The identity of a well-known and mysterious poster on the Scope, known to the world as "Master Chief", has been revealed. After his initial splashdown on the Scope, with the famous text "HELLO I AM MASTER CHIEF, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL" believed to be quoting the book of John, 3:12, many investigations were started to find his true identity, all to no avail. However, recently, a man who could only be called by his codename, penis, claims that the infamous Master Chief is Christion.
While his claim had no actual proof to back it, many high-ranking authorities found merit in it; one such authority, after being told the news by our staff, exclaimed, "oh, haha". Master Chief's motives were unclear, and Christion could not be reached for comment. He left a cryptic message as a "farewell address" of sorts to his followers, however: "STFU, u noob, im leet i haz recon, IM A LEET NUB PW8NER, U R A NUB, STFU, COD 4 SUCKS BALLS, HALO 3 FTW" No cryptologist has been able to crack this code, although it's believed to be about fish.
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